The first day after I came back from the flood was the warmest weather this skin has felt.
That time with this skin was the warmest I have felt out of this living and into some, any, other space.
Left looking into the two barrels of any fighting time is beyond where my moon shines, no matter where, and I am forever shaken to my roots by the carelessness with which the world shakes off its lives who breathe on the planetary air and sweets of water.
The day the flood came, my head overflowed with warmth and spilled into every imagined cavity under my sealing breath.
I have not slept in weeks. I live only on air. Even fruits are too much. Which way is sky? How might I fly? Whiskers diminish after the stroking, from feeling into plains above dryness which have never been touched by any kind of water, ever. This land is rock, dust, slate, choking. Only.
And yet there is a strange energy here: the air vibrates, as does everything, of course, but I mean in a much more noticeable way, as if it were trying to wake you up not merely from dream to waking, but from waking to some place just to the left, not really very far away at all except in dimension and awareness. This space, like all spaces, just sits, and calls, and strengthens itself with its ownness until the beaters from out of time arrive and reshape all thought and weather into the most common thread, that which can be seen by every eye, any eye, felt with every smell of thought beyond which even the most ordinary recreations are disallowed into the clearing at the end of the wet, shaking rainbow, the anvil forest which has sprung up only these last few hundred years to eclipse the yearning, burning flowers and undulating worlds of all the growing and all the under-time, over speculation, between shakes and inside-out of all the chordal inversions of sky’s shape and path of river.
This fine day has wet my hair and down my body to the nth degree of standing ground. This degree of finely standing has taken my nth-trained seal of inside-wax to rearrange – with all kinds of beautiful, loving anger and sweeping – the last tents of my untenemented ancestors, who have never slept on a ship, but only under them for all time.
Fallow is the breathing ground. Water soaks my wrists up to the knees of all my trembling thoughts, and I am breaking here, breaking ground, breathing for the first time since there were lungs the inside air, the over-the-shoulder seeing of all the midnight passengers ever swept to and fro by the random trains of human forgetting and sleep.
My breathing stills the night and wakens all the ships from private rest. The pavilions are creaking, the jetties are crumbling, and my sisters slip rocks into the dungeon-cups of waiting’s prisoners so that they can see, and see up to the light, far beyond any day’s toil of forgetting to be a prisoner. Their lips open with their eyes, and the truest water flows between their parched lips and soothes into their living. And breathe. And breaths. And not alone, not any more, you never were. Not even once were you alone. No other waits for you. It is your breath and every waiting form from all and all.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
House of Cards
Slowing slouching sleechly slecter,
I’m imbibing my nine cats these days
From out of the house of cards
Which I have made over the rainbow’s waterfall.
All kinds of winds go through here,
But my structure is intact, thanks to deals made with
Gods or
Beings who possess such power.
Are you in a position to give it?
Can you build a house out of mere
Matter?
The old one I built long ago was from the materials of
Memory and possession,
Meaning,
Lost to the histories of houses even as the
Spinal shapes of pre-born euphemisms were
Arching up the taillights to my door.
I cannot count the images.
They come forth like a deck of cards;
My hand is the player,
Your mouth is the one that changes color from the
Inside out,
And none of us have ever (or could ever) receive the
Gift of finely-wrought light that travels on the backs of cards and
Reaches its fingers into our uneven thoughts which take place before words and memory.
Now.
Isn’t that the most liberating color?
Does your soup turn in its bowl before wishes are made?
My house of cards sits on top of a waterfall,
Below and behind all the ready-noise of
Your retarded children
Who have broken everything, everything,
Broken it all.
But this house stands true, and above water and sound.
Sweetly swing the licking springs of your own ticking time from
Up above the dust of my vision, and
You are invited here
Always
Always
Before there was nothing.
I’m imbibing my nine cats these days
From out of the house of cards
Which I have made over the rainbow’s waterfall.
All kinds of winds go through here,
But my structure is intact, thanks to deals made with
Gods or
Beings who possess such power.
Are you in a position to give it?
Can you build a house out of mere
Matter?
The old one I built long ago was from the materials of
Memory and possession,
Meaning,
Lost to the histories of houses even as the
Spinal shapes of pre-born euphemisms were
Arching up the taillights to my door.
I cannot count the images.
They come forth like a deck of cards;
My hand is the player,
Your mouth is the one that changes color from the
Inside out,
And none of us have ever (or could ever) receive the
Gift of finely-wrought light that travels on the backs of cards and
Reaches its fingers into our uneven thoughts which take place before words and memory.
Now.
Isn’t that the most liberating color?
Does your soup turn in its bowl before wishes are made?
My house of cards sits on top of a waterfall,
Below and behind all the ready-noise of
Your retarded children
Who have broken everything, everything,
Broken it all.
But this house stands true, and above water and sound.
Sweetly swing the licking springs of your own ticking time from
Up above the dust of my vision, and
You are invited here
Always
Always
Before there was nothing.
Our Endless Grandparents
Hell is the wheel.
Ending is real.
Change is the deal.
Represent at the corner of fiftieth street northwest,
Say into the wind the names of all your parents
Throughout time,
Whisper down the backs of your latest grandparents’ wishes
As they ride in the belly of time.
How can a sheep cannibalize his method of waiting out in the rain?
This fixture of fixation is not new to me on this level of vibration.
What can I call the mountainous breeze that
Slips and slurps up to the roof of my mouth
Before any taken has taken the wishes’ refugees
From out of the mouths of tiny angels,
Tongues of flame which are extremely rising,
Risen in the heat of the back planets,
Befuddled into rooms that will never be seen again.
This is the backward shape of history, the lasting refinements of time before
Walls and today’s whales can
Crash through their soupy spines and into
Bottomless milk-cartons on every countertop in America
Displaying the willfulness of disease and disappearing
Which we perpetrate on the faces of our dear ones,
Our endless grandparents
Before they knew.
Where are your children, and
What
Colors
Do
They
Breathe?
Ending is real.
Change is the deal.
Represent at the corner of fiftieth street northwest,
Say into the wind the names of all your parents
Throughout time,
Whisper down the backs of your latest grandparents’ wishes
As they ride in the belly of time.
How can a sheep cannibalize his method of waiting out in the rain?
This fixture of fixation is not new to me on this level of vibration.
What can I call the mountainous breeze that
Slips and slurps up to the roof of my mouth
Before any taken has taken the wishes’ refugees
From out of the mouths of tiny angels,
Tongues of flame which are extremely rising,
Risen in the heat of the back planets,
Befuddled into rooms that will never be seen again.
This is the backward shape of history, the lasting refinements of time before
Walls and today’s whales can
Crash through their soupy spines and into
Bottomless milk-cartons on every countertop in America
Displaying the willfulness of disease and disappearing
Which we perpetrate on the faces of our dear ones,
Our endless grandparents
Before they knew.
Where are your children, and
What
Colors
Do
They
Breathe?
Fifty Filths of Burning
Times, times, times,
The strange dingbats have always told me this.
Those crazy trays of fifty filths from out of Easter-time have
Slipped this ship’s shit from the back of the pile of all my holidays,
And no more, no more,
I cannot stand to stand the light
That comes from owning anything not given.
Those anythings are here because the sacrifice has burned out a form,
Any form,
Blazing and tracing the outline never gone beyond in sleep,
Until you awaken into a similar world again and are
Shuffled
Stirred
Repeated through the most similar processes again
Again
Again
And it does not stop until there is an explosion
Of form
From form
Out of form
Into light
Bright
Dazzling sphere
Listening light of lighting lovely lights to
Outer space
Out from in
Out
Free
Godly-Burned from the limit of being.
Chase the horse,
Grab its tail,
And it is
Change
Light
Change...
The strange dingbats have always told me this.
Those crazy trays of fifty filths from out of Easter-time have
Slipped this ship’s shit from the back of the pile of all my holidays,
And no more, no more,
I cannot stand to stand the light
That comes from owning anything not given.
Those anythings are here because the sacrifice has burned out a form,
Any form,
Blazing and tracing the outline never gone beyond in sleep,
Until you awaken into a similar world again and are
Shuffled
Stirred
Repeated through the most similar processes again
Again
Again
And it does not stop until there is an explosion
Of form
From form
Out of form
Into light
Bright
Dazzling sphere
Listening light of lighting lovely lights to
Outer space
Out from in
Out
Free
Godly-Burned from the limit of being.
Chase the horse,
Grab its tail,
And it is
Change
Light
Change...
Shall We Walk?
Fire past a rainbow in the sound most meekly possessing,
And I will return the favor by letting go all the past shards of
Sheeting seams,
Seeming to go north without power.
Abrase my inner dutchings and
Finger into without from evil space,
Before cards made the moon and filters pressed upon your back to the mud of seeming.
Which of our times will be made to wake up over a sheet of pairs?
Which of our customs will militarize past next year’s moon?
I will downfall this oblivion until the
Cancer sucks my neck and draws all the living blood from out my skin and organism,
Smearing the cracks with brackish ooze that used to be life before time smelted its fishy swells
Into the river and into the mouth and gorge of welling, swelling, sweltering,
Banished, worsened wasted weeds of withered hell.
Volcanic ash pierces my name,
My navel reeks with heat,
My sun is a burn of infusion brought about by many layers of enthusiasm
Without dream.
I cannot spell or speak;
I cannot just or sleep.
My days of our forms and wind are gaining,
The tops of all the blades of grass ever done by morning
Will have gone, borrowed-through,
Until the ways and days of Hades’ maids
Determine out the crushing folds of waiting, seeming,
Drifting, dreaming,
Awake at the seams to unite another established bewilderment
Along the rocky coast of minder’s northern shore.
I hear the beach is dazzling this time of year.
Shall we walk?
And I will return the favor by letting go all the past shards of
Sheeting seams,
Seeming to go north without power.
Abrase my inner dutchings and
Finger into without from evil space,
Before cards made the moon and filters pressed upon your back to the mud of seeming.
Which of our times will be made to wake up over a sheet of pairs?
Which of our customs will militarize past next year’s moon?
I will downfall this oblivion until the
Cancer sucks my neck and draws all the living blood from out my skin and organism,
Smearing the cracks with brackish ooze that used to be life before time smelted its fishy swells
Into the river and into the mouth and gorge of welling, swelling, sweltering,
Banished, worsened wasted weeds of withered hell.
Volcanic ash pierces my name,
My navel reeks with heat,
My sun is a burn of infusion brought about by many layers of enthusiasm
Without dream.
I cannot spell or speak;
I cannot just or sleep.
My days of our forms and wind are gaining,
The tops of all the blades of grass ever done by morning
Will have gone, borrowed-through,
Until the ways and days of Hades’ maids
Determine out the crushing folds of waiting, seeming,
Drifting, dreaming,
Awake at the seams to unite another established bewilderment
Along the rocky coast of minder’s northern shore.
I hear the beach is dazzling this time of year.
Shall we walk?
More Than Eyes
This is the news which has been brought to my face:
I cannot unfilter the seeming world from out of my breaking mind.
My feeling does not know what to do with this,
But I can hear the butter melting under the safest flesh of my understood past.
This is known. This is me.
What kind of power would it take to unleash the fall of water from above,
That water which can wash away only those knots and occurrences which
Fable belief into the freshest of imagined spheres up above the tangled system of lights
Here on earth?
My waiting has been foretold,
My answer unasked.
How many times should this birth convict me of never having to hold another clear drinking
vessel to the departing sunlight again?
The light which turns and burns above the any glass is that which can be seen by
More than eyes,
More than breath,
Over the face and
Under the place which is lifted up to receive the precious gift of water,
Above,
All over,
All around,
Everywhere.
I cannot unfilter the seeming world from out of my breaking mind.
My feeling does not know what to do with this,
But I can hear the butter melting under the safest flesh of my understood past.
This is known. This is me.
What kind of power would it take to unleash the fall of water from above,
That water which can wash away only those knots and occurrences which
Fable belief into the freshest of imagined spheres up above the tangled system of lights
Here on earth?
My waiting has been foretold,
My answer unasked.
How many times should this birth convict me of never having to hold another clear drinking
vessel to the departing sunlight again?
The light which turns and burns above the any glass is that which can be seen by
More than eyes,
More than breath,
Over the face and
Under the place which is lifted up to receive the precious gift of water,
Above,
All over,
All around,
Everywhere.
The Freshest Air Beyond
I feel out from every storm,
Wintering the under-blossoms of rivers white to the sky,
Sleeping unchecked into the serious endeavors of all learned men.
This fascination will be my undoing, I feel,
But there is nothing I can do about it.
My fired glass is shaped by these accords,
And this is the lesson I have loved and wondered over since time began in my space.
My everything sits unopened on the windowsill of learning,
Flowers grow outside,
I can feel the wind turning and unlearning all the bright possibilities under the sky
Which I can see without any kind of telescope.
This comfortable burning has set my head and into-my-body to rights.
It is the shape and force of wonder and life,
Precious puzzles left unsolved by the growing network of vines which cover my mind and pierce,
With my blessing,
The undeniable shaking openness that
Wants to breathe the freshest air
Beyond.
This laughter is forever.
Wintering the under-blossoms of rivers white to the sky,
Sleeping unchecked into the serious endeavors of all learned men.
This fascination will be my undoing, I feel,
But there is nothing I can do about it.
My fired glass is shaped by these accords,
And this is the lesson I have loved and wondered over since time began in my space.
My everything sits unopened on the windowsill of learning,
Flowers grow outside,
I can feel the wind turning and unlearning all the bright possibilities under the sky
Which I can see without any kind of telescope.
This comfortable burning has set my head and into-my-body to rights.
It is the shape and force of wonder and life,
Precious puzzles left unsolved by the growing network of vines which cover my mind and pierce,
With my blessing,
The undeniable shaking openness that
Wants to breathe the freshest air
Beyond.
This laughter is forever.
Exxon Spills
The invisible holes in the top of my head
Conduct light at invariable speeds
To the electric and fluctuating recesses of inner time that
Seem to me to be a way ahead of slowly swooning.
Whatever majesty presents itself to me in those wayward times
Before the wind kicks in and moves the mouth beyond the brain
Is not thelist of endless shortages brought from out of the mouths of
Swinging, singing dingalings like all my neighbors to the north.
I don’t know where they are other than a vague direction
And a breeze on the back of my neck and a
Pull at the top of my sunken head like straps to a fishing line that has been
Received at double the infinity required for this kind of wonder.
When I was filling up my car the other day at an Exxon station
All the memories ever had by anyone who ever lived came
Flooding back to my space, where they
Never were, and
All I could do was wash them,
Watch them,
Be them in their inner folds and works until this
Breath of me stopped expanding to all the reaches of wherever arms
Take you
Take me
Raise all the living to a wet marble of
Slab
Slab
Dehydrator
Vibrating deodorant under the swells of legs that make up our standing.
Our standing is time, and this kind of movement sweets us into walls and
Breaks our backs open to the white line of all the color you can see
Before vision has occurred.
Exxon spills
Like my eyes from behind closed glasses.
Where were they when the weather needed reheating so my people could breathe,
Could live,
Could fly out beyond the receding pastures in front of any house across the street from
Time
Time
Wax
Shells
Beaten air
Into the space
Space
Tell
Me
What
To
Watch
And
I
Will
Conduct light at invariable speeds
To the electric and fluctuating recesses of inner time that
Seem to me to be a way ahead of slowly swooning.
Whatever majesty presents itself to me in those wayward times
Before the wind kicks in and moves the mouth beyond the brain
Is not thelist of endless shortages brought from out of the mouths of
Swinging, singing dingalings like all my neighbors to the north.
I don’t know where they are other than a vague direction
And a breeze on the back of my neck and a
Pull at the top of my sunken head like straps to a fishing line that has been
Received at double the infinity required for this kind of wonder.
When I was filling up my car the other day at an Exxon station
All the memories ever had by anyone who ever lived came
Flooding back to my space, where they
Never were, and
All I could do was wash them,
Watch them,
Be them in their inner folds and works until this
Breath of me stopped expanding to all the reaches of wherever arms
Take you
Take me
Raise all the living to a wet marble of
Slab
Slab
Dehydrator
Vibrating deodorant under the swells of legs that make up our standing.
Our standing is time, and this kind of movement sweets us into walls and
Breaks our backs open to the white line of all the color you can see
Before vision has occurred.
Exxon spills
Like my eyes from behind closed glasses.
Where were they when the weather needed reheating so my people could breathe,
Could live,
Could fly out beyond the receding pastures in front of any house across the street from
Time
Time
Wax
Shells
Beaten air
Into the space
Space
Tell
Me
What
To
Watch
And
I
Will
Nineteen Shimmers
Nineteen shimmers made of glass
Take trouble across the street.
I can order my coffee by the side of the road
And watch as all the lovelies
Break into parades in front of every suggestion of a slip or a ship or a sail to
Star her by.
Shameless sandwich on my front face,
Licking backwards through all the muck ever inhabited by faceless wonders and
Working vermin from out of the speed of light.
This week has worn out its sleeves on my neck.
I can feel the behavior rotting through my flimsiest bedrooms,
Closet doors open to the waiting sun, the
“Oh it’s twelve o-clock” sun
Standing there
High and mighty in the sky,
Reminding me that I do what for a life,
A what for living that makes it of any difference except to those who can
Hear
Listen
Make an insouciance of shape perk into
Everyone’s outer ear and
Inner.
This is a good word, if not overused.
Inner; winner; sinner.
Beginner.
My room is always clean, and the kangaroos don’t come here anymore.
Take trouble across the street.
I can order my coffee by the side of the road
And watch as all the lovelies
Break into parades in front of every suggestion of a slip or a ship or a sail to
Star her by.
Shameless sandwich on my front face,
Licking backwards through all the muck ever inhabited by faceless wonders and
Working vermin from out of the speed of light.
This week has worn out its sleeves on my neck.
I can feel the behavior rotting through my flimsiest bedrooms,
Closet doors open to the waiting sun, the
“Oh it’s twelve o-clock” sun
Standing there
High and mighty in the sky,
Reminding me that I do what for a life,
A what for living that makes it of any difference except to those who can
Hear
Listen
Make an insouciance of shape perk into
Everyone’s outer ear and
Inner.
This is a good word, if not overused.
Inner; winner; sinner.
Beginner.
My room is always clean, and the kangaroos don’t come here anymore.
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